"They" say that while a woman is pregnant and then sleep-deprived with a new born that she suffers from the clinical disorder- Mommy Brain. At first I thought that this was ridiculous-I wasn't forgetful-I had in fact stopped caring about everything but myself and getting that baby out of me. I no longer cared about whether my belly hung out the bottom of my shirts (although my students were most likely traumatised by this). I no longer cared about my friend's plights with men, work, anything...I was a pregnant asshole!
The moment I realized that I was actually ill-that my bright mind had been sabotaged by a 7lb tyrant was on my first day back at the gym after my first child. I have been teaching classes since high school and have always felt at home in any gym and fitness room-why should this day be any different.
Donning my biggest clothes and making a sports bra out of a wood shelf and leather straps I headed to the gym to just "test the waters." As I strolled through the doors I became arrogant-over-looking the fact that people were not sure if I was pregnant still, obese, or a new mom....the spit up on my shoulder and shit underneath my fingers nails should have been an obvious tip!
I strolled by the Spin room-hmmm totally packed! Well-this instructor must be awesome to pack a gym at 11 am....I would try this class. Because I am an instructor, and a complete idiot, I made my way past the front row heading to the bike directly in front of the instructor (who was not present yet). Old habits die hard and I figured-at least this way I would not cheat my way through this class.
I fiddled with my bike seat, gears, set my water in the holder, and boarded PURE HELL! I began "warm up" peddling-better known as passing the time so you don't have to chat with anyone until the class starts. Still pleasantly unaware of the other members of this class-my eyes were forward-I was clueless. Slowly, the quiet drone of male voices increased...did I not hear one female in this class???? Where the hell was I? I looked to my right and then sheepishly to my left. Oh you have GOT to be kidding me-how is this possible-how did I not see that the whole room was filled with men. I took a long, discreet look at the gentleman's legs beside me-it just kept getting better.
"Are you guys professional athletes?"
"We're Flames!"
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