As my daughter's first birthday approached I was certain that I had to throw something large-something that was special and would be remembered therefore I invited everyone I knew-all my friends and my husband's; included family and the like! Of course the one element missing from this list was Ila's friends-being only 1 she didn't have any- so that left more room for my friends. (OH dear-will her wedding guest list be the catalyst to end our relationship when I try to invite people she doesn't know????) Maybe the first birthday is really about the MOM-you come, you eat, and ultimately you praise the Mama for how cute, how sweet, and oh how smart her little one is.
With Ila clad in a beautiful Spring dress, we started the party. I pretty much ignored the birthday girl as I ran around trying to make sure everyone was having a good time. In her moment to shine, The Birthday Cupcake-I forgot to gather the troops and it wasn't until my Aunt whispered to me(during Ila's first intro to sugary icing) that I realized that we forgot something. "Shouldn't we sing???" OH SHIT---YES YES we should sing! It was haphazard, off key, and at the end of the day I figured that we should have got a cake, a camera with a timer, a card-board-cut-out clown and taken one family photo of a fake birthday-she wouldn't have been the wiser and I wouldn't have thrown a party for myself for her birthday.
Over the second year of her life I swore that I would not get swept up in the craziness of the "Birthday Mom". At the gym, Mom's groups, and in the grocery store I would overhear Moms discussing elaborate birthday parties for their children: petting zoos, elephant visits, climbing walls and water slides, clown visits, cirque du soleil and so on and so on. Secretly, I believe that every Mom wants to be envied for how creative and expensive her party is-How she "wows" the other Moms and puts their kid's birthday parties to shame. What a coo to be talked about in the locker room, "Did you hear about Kim's party, they gave out diamonds and a live unicorn in the loot bags."
I set out to have an ordinary, quiet party with Ila's friends from our weekly playdates. My goal was that this year she would actually enjoy her party. I decided on a messy craft and the beloved ice cream cake to make her heart flutter-I didn't decorate and instead assumed she would rather just play with the guests.
The night before her party I went to my cousin's daughter-Brooklyn's 4th birthday party! This was where things began to go array...what seemed like a normal-low key event was instead a Build a Bear party. Are you F'ing kidding me?! Each child got to select a beautiful stuffy and then stuff it, adding a heart and a star for a wish. Both my kids were given a HUGE stuffed animal-one that I would have killed for when I was a child. Oskar was even included-did that mean I was to include babies in my activity tomorrow? Should I be giving out baby appropriate loot bags? Oh crap-there would be a detour to Walmart on the drive home. Of course I was naive, thinking this was it. I over looked the indoor slide, the jungle gym mats every where to play, the huge play house in the back yard, the endless things to play with....the multiple snacks and full dinner served....the booze for parents-the variety of alcohol t ensure that each parent sufficiently enjoyed themselves. (AHHHHHHH-we need Baileys and coffee liquors-note to self).
AND THEN A LOOT BAG! WHAT THE F!!!!! Didn't we already get a Bear-didn't my 9 month old baby, who can't speak, get a Bear???? Now a loot bag-I casually looked to my husband to explain that this birthday girl's loot bag would need to be JACKED up tomorrow-we could make sure that no other kids saw what we gave her....did we have a live baby she could have or puppy....maybe even a car???
As if things weren't bad enough, as if I already didn't feel like a failure of a mom-totally letting my two year old down-HE showed up. A cop, the child's uncle-fully dressed in his uniform (little boys in awe everywhere-even adult men a little spellbound). He hadn't come alone-NO- he brought his companion-the BELOVED POLICE DOG. Each child was lined up to have a chance to meet Trooper, the police working dog! Of course I couldn't help notice a few dads falling into line as well...
"Eric, get Sesame street on the phone-we need Elmo!"
Maybe she was tired? Maybe she wasn't feeling well? Maybe she wasn't in the party mood? But let me be frank-my darling two-year-old cried about the craft I prepared for her to do, she cried about the people who came to her party, cried about the food, became hysterical over our singing, refused the ice cream birthday cake and in the end hated every aspect of her party EXCEPT the plastic whistle and Rhythmic gymnastics ribbon (that had come in Brooklyn's loot bag)!
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